But that doesn't mean good managers should strive to be disliked.
The best managers build something more valuable than popularity: trust.
People should know that when you praise them, you mean it. When you tell them something needs to improve, you mean that too. They should understand what you expect, believe you'll support them when things get difficult, and trust that you'll hold everyone-including yourself-to a consistent standard.
1. Be Clear Before You Become Critical
Before asking why someone failed, ask:
Did they know what success looked like?
People need to understand what they own, what outcome they're responsible for, when it needs to happen, and what standard they're being measured against.
If someone repeatedly misses a clearly defined expectation, accountability becomes appropriate. But accountability without clarity feels arbitrary.
Clarity comes before accountability.
2. Tell People the Truth
Managers sometimes soften feedback because they don't want conflict. But if someone's performance isn't where it needs to be, telling them they're doing fine makes today's conversation easier while making their future harder.
Good feedback is direct without being cruel.
Instead of:
"You need to work harder."
Say:
"The last three projects missed their deadlines. I want to understand what's causing that, and then we need to figure out how to prevent it from happening again."
You're addressing observable performance rather than attacking the person.
The same applies to praise. When someone does excellent work, tell them exactly what they did well. When something needs improvement, tell them exactly what needs improvement.
Over time, people learn that your words actually mean something.
3. Give People Ownership
Managers are accountable for outcomes, which creates a temptation to control everything: every decision, email, detail, and update.
Eventually, the manager becomes the bottleneck.
A better approach is:
"Here's the outcome we need. Here's the deadline. Here are the constraints. Come back to me if you hit something you can't resolve."
Then let them work.
Autonomy doesn't mean absence. It means replacing constant supervision with clear expectations and appropriate checkpoints.
4. Don't Confuse Activity With Progress
Busy teams can still accomplish very little.
Meetings, messages, documents, status updates, and long hours create visible activity. But the manager's job isn't to maximize activity. It's to produce outcomes.
Ask:
What actually changed because of the work we did?
Someone who appears incredibly busy may be struggling to prioritize. Someone who appears relaxed may have automated half their workload and consistently delivers ahead of schedule.
Rewarding visible effort instead of meaningful outcomes teaches teams to perform busyness.
Reward results.
5. Solve Systems Before Blaming People
When something goes wrong, ask:
What allowed this mistake to happen?
If someone misunderstood a requirement, perhaps communication was unclear. If deadlines are constantly missed, perhaps priorities change too frequently. If every new hire struggles in the same role, perhaps the problem isn't the new hires.
Accountability matters. But accountability without examining the system creates organizations where people become afraid of mistakes instead of organizations that learn from them.
6. Protect Your Team Without Protecting Them From Consequences
A manager represents the organization to their team and their team to the organization.
Sometimes that means pushing back against unrealistic expectations, securing resources, defending someone from unfair criticism, or taking responsibility when something under your leadership fails.
But protection doesn't mean shielding people from consequences.
If someone repeatedly fails to meet reasonable expectations after receiving clarity, resources, feedback, and opportunities to improve, eventually the manager has to act.
That decision may make you unpopular.
People don't need a manager who will always make them happy.
They need one they believe will be fair.
7. Praise Publicly. Correct Thoughtfully.
Recognition is powerful when other people see it.
Humiliation is powerful too-just in the opposite direction.
Give people credit publicly. Have difficult feedback conversations privately whenever possible.
Public correction often changes someone's objective from learning to defending themselves.
There are exceptions. Incorrect information given publicly may need to be corrected publicly. But correct the information, not the person.
8. Don't Avoid Conflict
Unresolved problems rarely disappear.
A small performance issue becomes a major one. A disagreement becomes resentment. An unclear responsibility becomes organizational dysfunction.
Managers who constantly avoid uncomfortable conversations aren't preserving harmony.
They're borrowing against future conflict.
Address problems while they're still small.
9. Be Predictable
Your team shouldn't have to determine which version of you walked into the office that morning.
Standards shouldn't change with your mood. Two people shouldn't receive completely different treatment for the same mistake because you like one more.
Predictability creates trust.
People learn:
If I make a mistake, we'll discuss it.
If I need help, I can ask.
If I do excellent work, it will be recognized.
If I'm falling behind, someone will tell me.
10. Measure Yourself by What Happens Without You
A team that cannot function without its manager isn't necessarily evidence of an indispensable manager. It can be evidence of poor management.
Great managers build teams capable of operating without them.
People understand the mission. They know their authority. They make decisions, resolve disagreements, and understand when something genuinely needs escalation.
Your goal isn't to become the center of your team's universe.
Your goal is to build a team that progressively needs less management from you.
The Manager's Paradox
Management contains an unavoidable contradiction.
You need empathy without becoming permissive. Standards without becoming controlling. Confidence without pretending you're always right. Support without abandoning accountability.
Sometimes you'll make decisions that people you genuinely care about dislike.
That's why being liked is a poor measurement of management quality.
But being disliked isn't evidence of good management either.
The better question is:
Do people trust you?
Do they know where they stand? Do they understand what you expect? Can they disagree with you? Will you tell them the truth? Will you listen when you're wrong? Will you defend them when it's justified? Will you hold them accountable when necessary?
And most importantly:
Are they becoming more capable because you are their manager?
If so, you're building something far more valuable than popularity.
You're building a team that works.
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